Went to the florist the other day, and a transvestite waited on me.\u00a0 I wanted a spray with a Christian message, but he refused to take my order.\u00a0 He explained it was against his principles to make or sell sprays with Christian messages.\u00a0 I was devastated.\u00a0 I believe that I should be compensated for the damages.<\/p>\n
First, when I walked out of the door, I immediately had a fit of sneezing ($15k).\u00a0 Then I got in my car, but the heat was so bad that I felt faint ($5k).\u00a0 Pulling onto the street a car honked and I had to swerve to keep from hitting it ($5k).\u00a0 I thought I would feel better if I turned on the radio, but \u201cAnother One Bites the Dust\u201d blared out of my speakers ($10k).<\/p>\n
At that point, I began to wonder how much damage the transvestite\u00a0had done to my self-esteem.\u00a0 After a quick assessment, the results were bad.\u00a0 I did not feel confident enough to try out for American Idol ($8.5k). \u00a0\u00a0When I went to the ATM, I was frozen at the key pad, fearful of withdrawing some cash ($2.5k).\u00a0 My fear was confirmed when I looked up and an old lady smiled at me.\u00a0 I smiled back, but she walked right past and hugged a man behind me ($5k).\u00a0 I bought a \u201cscratch-off\u201d lottery ticket, but God did not let me win ($2.5k).\u00a0 At the sub shop next door, I ordered a 6\u201d sub.\u00a0 The woman asked, \u201cToasted?\u201d\u00a0 Why does everyone know what happened to me ($5k)?<\/p>\n
From there, I went to Wal-Mart.\u00a0 It seemed that everyone was avoiding looking at me ($3k).\u00a0 I bought some nasal decongestant because I heard that 2 squirts on the tongue would take away the smell of onions.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 I blew on my fingers and could still smell onions ($2k).\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0On the way out of the store, I walked into the glass panel beside the door ($5k).\u00a0 Some people laughed ($10k). \u00a0I walked past some flowers and a bee attacked me ($2.5k).\u00a0 \u00a0Luckily, I wasn\u2019t stung.\u00a0 I suddenly felt very alone and dejected ($5k).<\/p>\n
I was so depressed that I called my pastor ($5k).\u00a0 After I told him my story, he told me that I was homophobic and needed to see a psychologist ($10k).\u00a0 The next day, I visited the psychologist.\u00a0 He gave me a prescription for Prozac and a gay movie on Blu-ray ($15k).<\/p>\n
I was at my wits end, in anguish, going from one crisis to another, until I met this homeless guy.\u00a0 There I was sitting on the park bench when he tried to sell me a small bouquet of flowers for five bucks.\u00a0 I remarked that I wished it was that easy to buy flowers all the time.\u00a0 He asked me what I meant, and I told him my story.\u00a0 When I was finished, he asked me why I didn\u2019t just buy flowers from a Christian florist.\u00a0 I felt stupid ($25k).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Went to the florist the other day, and a transvestite waited on me.\u00a0 I wanted a spray with a Christian message, but he refused to take my order.\u00a0 He explained it was against his principles to make or sell sprays with Christian messages.\u00a0 I was devastated.\u00a0 I believe that I should be compensated for the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paIm2N-dV","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/863"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=863"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/863\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":864,"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/863\/revisions\/864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.truthkeepers.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}