March2003

C. H. Fisher

A new type of programming is inundating the major television networks. It is called, "reality" television. It is anything but reality; if we are talking about the message they are trying to deliver. The reality is that when these shows are finally cut, they will leave behind some confused people in the aftermath. For example, there are shows that depict several young gold-diggers who shamelessly primp and pose to seduce a millionaire into marrying them. The reality offered here is called true love. Really? Well, it's not called that on the streets. But it gets worse. Another show has several hormone-charged young men panting for a young female. The end result of that show is also called true love. But hold on—the worst is still to come. Now the viewing public is invited to get in on the act. Viewers will choose a mate for several individuals who are willing to shed every scruple for the dubious privilege of marrying the popular choice. What's going on here? Obviously it is an attack on both love and marriage by the worst failures in both categories. There are no less qualified people to handle the topics of love and marriage than Hollywood 's entertainment moguls. In fact, since lust-based relationships and divorce is so much a part of their world, they are too cynical about either topic to do them justice.

Every true romantic ought to boycott these shows. It isn't real love that is being presented by them, but warped fantasy. Think about it: Why would Joe Millionaire be believable in love or as a good husband? Why would any of those star-struck, money-grubbing, females qualify as a true lover or a good wife? Is it really love that is being presented here? Not by a long shot! It is more like unprincipled lust for sensuality and instant gratification that drives our pleasure-mad society. Such a low degree of character used to be looked upon with reproof, now it is honored and even idolized by millions of television viewers. I understand the attraction here. A lot of women fantasize about the "knight in shinning armor"—the perfect man—who sweeps them off of their feet and rescues them from the drab boredom of normalcy. Most men dream about the perfect woman—the "ten"—who fulfills their every dream. But it's like the song says, they're looking for love in all the wrong places. Reality is that most married men work for a living and do not resemble a knight, much less a Hollywood star that's just left the make-up room. Most married women are too busy being wives and mothers to sit around with every hair in place, posing as the perfect "ten." What about marriage with reality television's version of love? The odds are better that one will win the Virginia Lottery.

The necessary ingredients for a good and lasting marriage depend on true love. Forgiveness depends on true love for its very essence. A little girl was asked by her Sunday school teacher what forgiveness was. She replied that it was the odor that flowers give off when they are stepped on. Step on some of these Hollywood types and you won't get the odor of forgiveness, but an atmosphere filled with anger and vulgarity. The give and take of the close relationship of marriage also depends on true love. Navigating the storms of life, raising children, accepting the wrinkles, mood swings, hair loss, hormone changes, testosterone loss, gas, fat and other signs of aging; all depend on true love. True lovers mean it when they say their wedding vows; true love gives them the wherewithal to fill them. What is true love? True love is a spiritual quality that cannot be generated in such a laboratory environment as "reality" television presents.

True love is as if each person has one-half of a spiritual love mixture in them. The ingredients are like no one else's mixture. Somewhere, someone has the other half of the mixture. When they meet, a cataclysmic event occurs. One moment, both of their worlds are black and white; the next moment they are in a single world of stunning colors. "Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed." (Psa 85:10 NKJV) Each soul is laid open and bare and the flow from the depths is unreserved and special. Contrary to the old adage that, "love is blind," love is full of sight. Everything is seen and accepted as qualities rather than flaws. We call it blindness, but never has sight been so piercing and beautiful. We who are on the outside of the event still see the individual flaws because the explosion of love isn't happening to us.

I realize that few people will be able to tolerate what I write next; but it is the truth. The Bible defines true love in great detail. First, it is clear that God is love. He loved a wicked and rebellious world so much that He sent His Son to pay our sin debt. The entire world is guilty of despising God and His holiness. We all thumbed our noses in His face and went on about our temporal life; living for lust and pleasure. God would have destroyed the world and started all over had it not been for His great love. Instead of exercising His power and right to destroy us, He offers us forgiveness, cleansing, and eternal life in His kingdom. So powerful was His love that Jesus died in our place. Here is how this love is relevant to the love a man and woman should have for each other. The Bible says that a man should love his wife as Christ Jesus loves the Church. A wife's love is compared to the way the Church loves Christ Jesus. This is real love and "reality" television love is a cheap, bad, and worthless imitation.

I've been blessed to find true and lasting love several times. First I found the love of God—what amazing grace! Then I found the love of my best friend and partner—what a beautiful and wonderful wife. The love that I felt when I first held my baby daughter, and then the second one, was indescribably powerful and overwhelming. I have friends that I love very deeply. I have also been blessed to love and receive love from many wonderful people that have tolerated me as their pastor these many years. This reciprocating flow of love in my life helps me to recognize the strange and incredible imitation being offered by "reality" television. I hope that the reader is made aware of the same. Don't honor such perversion by wasting your time watching and participating in it.

Complaints anyone?

C. H. Fisher

When I think about Brother Job I consider that I am not so bad off. Not only that, I really have more than I realize sometimes. That's because in order to realize how good you have it sometimes it all has to be taken away. We can gripe about the floor covering in our house, but there are people who do not even have a floor or a house. In fact, almost everything we have is enough. We don't really need anything else—we want it. Our wants are a pile of trouble and we keep running to it for comfort and security.

As good as we have it in the USA we Christians should never complain. Have you ever tried to go one day without making even the smallest complaint? Or go one day without saying even the slightest thing bad about someone? I tell you that it is hard to do. You might bite your tongue on every complaint, but meet some hypocrite who seems to be coasting through life without a problem. You will find yourself thinking: "That bum, I don't know why God doesn't judge him!"

The other day I tried to go all day without saying one complaint no matter how small. I mean I wasn't even going to say, "Dang, that should fit! I know I cut it right." I went to the restaurant and ordered a burger. I knew the lady was getting it wrong. There are two people you always have to repeat yourself to—a telemarketer and a cash register trainee at a fast-food restaurant.

Sure enough, when I got the burger it was loaded with onions. I took it back—trying to be my usual nice and polite self. When they "fixed" it, they left off one of the patties. I took it back again and they added a patty, slammed on the lid and gave it back to me. It was considerable lighter than when they started scraping the onions off, but I ate it anyway. I thought, "That upsized/downsized double whopper will never fill me up since I didn't eat breakfast," but I didn't complain. Strangely enough I was really full and had that burger been any bigger I couldn't have eaten it.

We really don't have as many problems as we think, but we make a lot of problems where they shouldn't exist. Complaining will cause more trouble that letting a rat loose in a dress shop. But it's hard to quit because most of us are convinced that complaining insures that our rights have been defended. They are never defended, just restated in the most unpleasant way. Afterwards, no one really give a hoot about your rights. The next person who steps on them probably never knew that you harangued the last transgressor into perdition for doing so. They innocently or even ignorantly mess up your order, can't find the right bar code, or just plain took a trip to ethereal land while you lost valuable time—whoosh, here comes the flood of complaints. It doesn't end with speaking to their face, but we go back to our table and mumble through full cheeks and mess with everyone else's appetite.

Hey, forget it. Most of the people we take issue with are just minimum wage workers who are already feeling stressed out because they are working such a cruddy job. We need to complain less, smile more, and even give compliments. While we are at it, let's remember to visit God in our prayer times with a more grateful spirit. We treat Him like a psychiatrist to whom we owe all our complaints from the least to the greatest. He never opens the conversation with, "What is it now?" Or, "Oh, it's you again." But sometimes I wonder if He doesn't have some angelic song that can be played at full volume by understand angels. At some given moment He can say, "Okay Gabriel, lets hear that fast one again and take a long trumpet ride." Surely I jest! But I wouldn't blame The Lord for drowning out some of the noise that is passed off for prayer that must come up continually from the earth.

I don't mean to imply here that God doesn't care about our needs or isn't available when we are going through some tough times. But is there anyone that approaches Him and just says, "Hello Father, I don't need anything—I just want to tell You how much I love You and how grateful that I am for all the things You do for me." Sometimes, no matter what we are going through, we just need to spend our prayer time in praise and thanksgiving.

The Purging Process

In John 15, Jesus says that, those who bear fruit, His Father purges, so that they can bear more fruit. This is not what we humans expect for our efforts. However, we do not often grasp spiritual principles—and this one certainly eludes us. Our earthly world is set up on an "effort and reward" system. We do something for someone and get rewarded for it. If we had helped a friend, and he or she didn't treat us friendly as a result, we would be miffed. We would be even more offended if our paycheck didn't arrive after working long and hard for an employer.

In God's economy, the reward ceremony occurs after we die. That's not so say that there are no benefits of salvation in this life. But the deal has been from the beginning that the rewards come later. We knew that. Even Lost people know it, and that's why many of them do not surrender to God's grace.

Although we know this truth, we still find ourselves waiting for a reward after a job well done; or after a hardship, a time of persecution, or a promotion in the church. There is one other time when we expect a reward from God for our efforts and troubles. We expect a reward from God after we have made significant forward progress. Oh yes, we believe that the extra praying, the earnest desire to be in His will, the sacrificial surrender, and casting off the weights, will result in feeling rather spiritual. We also believe that it will result in much raw power and a smoother path—making us feel like super-saints in the process.

There are a few things wrong with these preconceptions. First, when our performance has been sub-par, there are reasons for it. The praying and surrender will expose our flaws and errors. God intends to deal with and eradicate them from our lives. The result is a purging process. So for our efforts, instead of a feel-good-feeling, we get the miserable feeling of purging. Purging is effected by trials. Oh boy; not that! Yes, trials. Instead of soaring into the third heavens, we might instead find ourselves in the quagmire of a great trial of faith.

The effort to draw nearer to God will also expose the demons that are working against us. Some people believe that they stir up the Devil when they pray. This may be true; but more often, we expose the works of darkness that is already being perpetrated against us. This causes stress and a battle with doubt and fear.

Secondly, the intensity and length of the purging depends on the desired altitude. If we want to soar like an eagle, we've got to first shed the turkey feathers. I've heard people say, "Oh, I just want to get as close to God as I can!" I think, boy, are you asking for it!

We do not always realize what we are praying for. Are we tired of the stagnation of being in the same old, dry, spiritual condition day in and day out? A sermon or a testimony might stir us to draw nearer to God. We begin praying, "Oh, God; draw me nearer to You—what ever it takes!" All of a sudden, all chaos breaks loose in our lives. The resulting feeling is like saying, "I love you," to a friend, and getting slapped for it. We need to remember that we asked for the purging process when we asked to be closer to God. He didn't force it on us.

The last point is that the intensity and length of the purging process depends on the promotion desired. Praying for a promotion will first bring a purging process. When God gets ready to promote us, He will stir our souls with an anxious feeling. We will eventually outgrow our positions of responsibility. The result is that we do not have to depend on God as much for our performance. We need stronger challenges and greater responsibility will produce them.

We must be prepared before getting a promotion. God cannot send us where we are unprepared to go. Before David faced the giant, he faced the bear and lion. He also picked up five smooth stones. We must be properly prepared and equipped before we can obtain a greater position of responsibility.

Therefore, the purging process always follows productivity. It keeps us strong, purified, equipped, dependent on God, and humble. If we are expecting anything else out of our efforts to be a better Christian, we need to temper our expectations with reality.

One day there will be a reward ceremony. We will be glad on that day that we obeyed Him. Until then, we should be satisfied with the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We should also be satisfied to be in His will. Whether the path leads through storms, or still valleys, we should call Him "Lord" just the same.